WHILE THE CAT'S AWAY!

Friday evening saw us driving like fat-heads in chronic weather conditions, to the Trafford Centre in Manchester, to meet up with newly married smashing gal-pal, Doz and her gaylord brother Gaz, to catch up with the latest of the Saw movies.

In a bid to keep Doz (short for Victoria) occupied whilst her dearly beloved Jessica is living it up in the USA - we thought it a good idea to pop to the cinema and inflict upon ourselves 108 minutes of gore induced dismemberment and self inflicted torture - all that with an added touch of compassion, paternal love and forgiveness.

Arriving a few minutes late and positioning ourselves in the closest seats to the front so as not to cause a kerfuffle, we soon got to grips with the storyline - although, having seen the previous Saw films, it doesn't take Einstein to work out what was going on! We had all heard hideous reviews about the latest installment from Mr Jigsaw - people getting up and walking out of the cinema, some unfortunates saying hello to their popcorn as sharpish as they had shovelled it down their necks, some even requiring medical attention upon exiting the cinema - surely it couldn't really be this bad.

Within 10 minutes of sitting down, Amanda and Doz were watching most of the movie from behind their jumpers - which had been pulled up over their faces to try to hide out the hideous story which was unfolding in front of them! Gaz and I remained visually open throughout - I'm not really fazed by blood & guts and neither was Gaz, we even took time out to take the piss out of the guy sat next to us, who apart from rattling his effing popcorn throughout, was sporting a rather amusing arron jumper - I wasn't aware such things still existed!

It started with an interesting premise but quickly squandered it on the usual barely-glimpsed bloodbaths and deathtraps increasingly ludicrous in their mad-lab ingenuity. One chap, for instance, found himself in a vat slowly filling with the liquefied remains of maggot-ridden pig corpses, which were dumped into what I can only call a huge industrial juicer - this scene was the worst for Amanda! My particular favourite was the DIY brain surgery, with a comedy line thrown in, Ol' Jigsaw hasn't been feeling too posh lately, what with this inoperable brain tumour and the like, so he found himself a surgeon, in a bid that she would be able to put him right - the classic line came as she revved up the power drill and said "you might feel a bit of discomfort".. understatement of the year there love!

Anyway - the film ended, still with Amanda and Doz hiding - the cinema had an odd silence about it, obviously most people were feeling "a little unwell" and would be heading for the loos, rather than the string of restaurants close by!

We all went for a cheeky half before going our separate ways - a most enjoyable evening - although I somehow fear the Doz won't be jumping on the funbus when Saw 4 is announced!

POOR GIRL!
Pictured above with the angelic smile is Emily, niece of me and obviously daughter of my big brother and his lovely wife. For some time now, people, they know who they are, have commented how much Emily is like me 'when I was young' - I can sort of see it, she is a bit cheeky, a bit rum and also rather cute!
The pinnacle moment for me, when I realised how much like me she was, was upon viewing this picture - there has been a mix up at the mouth factory, we have matching mouths (and matching eye bags, there is an explanation for those!) The poor poor girl, how must she feel when people say to her 'oh, you are just like your Aunty C' - it's enough to send anyone over the edge!
I was listening with interest to a radio programme the other day, there was some old fuddy duddy bleating on about having a 'favourite child' - whether its the first born or the last born, or in some awkward persons case the 4th born! It made me think back to the arrival of my nieces.

I remember with infinite detail, sitting outside the ward, with an oversized yellow fluffy duck, when Abigail (pictured right) was born, I was almost wetting myself with excitement. That was just the start of the obsession really. When we moved house, I found at least 40 packets of photographs, just of Abi, sitting, smiling, sleeping, giggling, crying, looking, eating, colouring.. anything she possibly did, I had a picture of her doing it - and more besides. Now, Emily - there honestly aren't half as many photographs - which leads me to think, I am guilty of having a favourite - but this can't be so!

My brother and his brood are to visit us this weekend, which will be most pleasant - I will check with them about the alleged favouritism - and see if they have noticed it, or have indeed been guilty of it themselves.

MUSHROOM MYSTERY
After recently visiting a local hostelry and sampling their 'sizzling mushroom' starter - I decided I could replicate the said dish in the comfort of my own kitchen! Armed the other night with only mushrooms, butter, cream, thyme, salt & pepper, I came fairly close, much to my amazement, but there was definitely some key factors missing.. firstly the 'sizzle' and secondly garlic.

Off to the shop I popped, a basket full of mushroom sizzling ingredients and back to the chopping board.

Mushrooms, garlic, mascarpone, cream, thyme, butter, white wine and some olive oil.. slapped it all in the pan at various stages and came up with something that resembled 'sizzling mushrooms' - but still no sizzle! In my excitement I left the pan for a few short seconds to get the attention of Amanda, my chief taster! Upon returning to the stove, I thought the dog had been in and sicked in the pan - my concoction had curdled and turned into a terrible looking mess - still no sizzle though!

If you closed your eyes and didn't look at the pile of sick on your plate, they actually tasted rather nice, they just looked vile. It won't put me off trying again, I will master the sizzle and I shall not curdle!

THE FRANKSTER - so not bobbins!

Some people just don't get it, I understand that, I can't really pinpoint what it is about Frank Sidebottom, but to me he is a God. Funny beyond belief and as northern as they come, its a winner every time.

Having not seen Frank for about 12 years, when I clocked that he was playing the Lowry I just had to book tickets, straight away. Breaking the news to Amanda wasn't easy, she quite bluntly hates him, I know, some people have no taste!

Anyway, last Friday we tottered off to Manchester, me rather excited and Amanda mainly quiet! She was convinced we would be the only people in the theatre, I chose to ignore her negative comments - luckily we weren't, as I would never have lived it down! There were all sorts of people there, granted some looked rather odd, but others looked quite normal - us included, I hope!

The show was 2 hours (with a little interval) and I ached from laughing, throughout. He did quite a bit of stuff which I was familiar with and a few new bits thrown in for good measure. Little Frank and Little Denise also put in an appearance. Amanda was crying with laughter, later she insists it was tears of disbelief that people actually found him funny.. but I saw her laughing, I know I did!

Another cracking night to add to our list of acts we have seen this year, Robbie was a highlight, but I think Frank has just pipped him to the post! You know he has, he really has - Thank you!

LEEDS WITH ROBBIE WILLIAMS

Last week we ventured our way up north to see Mr Williams, live at Roundhay Park, Leeds. We drove up the night before after work and stayed over in Ingleton with my mum & dad. On Saturday, we headed over to Leeds, thankfully it was a scorcher of a day. We got there about 2pm, dumped the jeep down a side road, about 30 minutes walk from the event, couldn't be fashed with getting trapped in the car park when the gig finished - turns out, it was our best bit of planning to date!

Once inside, we got into the spirit and bought some beer tokens, and swiftly exchanged them for some Pimms, very la-di-da! It wasn't long before the hot dog stand was calling, then the ice cream van, then the beer tent again, then the chip van... can you see a pattern! We parked our arses on a grass banking, and settled in for the afternoon. After doing a spot of people watching and eating and drinking our way through a few more hours we were then ready for the first supporting act, Orson - they were pretty good, only on for 30 mins though. Then, after a little break and a squash through to the loos, we welcomed Basement Jaxx on stage, they were really good, most impressive. Another half hour break and a trip to the beer tent - and before we knew it, it was getting dark! Robbie came on stage about 8.30pm.. fab - I mean, I'm not a die hard fan, nor do I pretend to know all of the words to all of his songs, but there is something about him as an entertainer that I like - with that in mind, he put on a fantastic performance, the only thing that spoilt it was the introduction of his 'buddy' Jonathan Wilks - he is a bit of a tool, and I just don't think he has any talent other than being Robbie's mate! But thats my opinion! He came and went and so did Robbie.

The show ended and all the other 89,998 people in the park, wanted to get out at the same time too! We shuffled our way out and found the car, with luck, rather than good navigation skills! Drove back to Ingleton and headed off to bed, ears still ringing and rather sleepy.

It was a long old weekend and we spent a fortune on chips and shit.. but it was well worth it.

BUNNY CARNAGE!

Part of the joy in living where we live is its rural location, surrounded by fields, trees and wandering wildlife - the latter being a big bonus for our cat, Mrs Spencer (pictured above, just waiting!). It's not unusual for us to find some poor creature, lifeless on our doorstep, often with its guts spilled a few inches from its corpse, or to hear the squeals of a baby rabbit, meeting its maker, Mrs S. But last night, she excelled herself, one catch was not enough - she managed to bring three rabbits home, all in varying states of death.

Bunny 1, name Foo Foo - brought to the back door, approx. 6pm, still alive, still moving. Couldn't bring ourselves to knock it on the back of the head, so decided to keep it in our recently vacated rabbit hutch! Wrapped it in a towel, crossed our fingers and hoped for the best.

Bunny 2, name Foo Foo 2 - brought to the back door, approx. 9pm, very dead, so dead in fact its head was missing and nowhere to be seen, couldn't even locate its ears!

Bunny 3, name Foo Foo 3 - brought to the back door, approx. 9.20pm, very dead, but intact, probably just killed for the sport rather than the feed!

We checked on Foo Foo before going to bed, still alive, surprisingly enough, but we feared that it wouldn't make it through the night.

Rudely awakened by Mrs Spencer meowing to get into the house this morning, I took the opportunity to go and check on Foo Foo, the poor thing is still alive, fairly motionless and not looking overly posh. I am now going to trawl the internet and see if I can find something that tells me how to kill a rabbit, without violence or actually hurting it! Gone are the days I wandered the fells with a 20 bore over my arm... how I ever managed to shoot anything is a mystery to me now. I just wish for Foo Foo's sake I could put it out of its misery.

Here endeth this sorry tale!

IT ALL STARTS HERE!

Kissing goodbye to the Cheshire border, we embraced the idea of being Welshers! We aren't in deepest darkest Wales, just far enough in for the road signs to be in Welsh!
Tucked away at the end of an unmade track, not accessible by scooters nor articulated lorries we are loving our little cottage. Having completed all the basic cosmetic work (on the house, not us!) we are about to whip the roof off and replace it with a leak free version! We will gladly welcome visitors... once the roof is fixed and the spare room is bucket free!

I must point out at this stage - ours is the tiny white bit on the far left of the row of houses!
Name of house : Pant Hyfryd : Meaning = Glorious Hole - charming!